Proverbs 19:20
“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
The following quote from an unknown author speaks profound truth: “To be a ‘safe place’ for others, one must have an open heart and a closed mouth.“ At the mid-point in our marriage, my husband and I discovered a strategy for communication. When I come to him with a problem I am dealing with, he asks this question so he can listen appropriately, “Are you looking for sympathy or a solution?” Many times all I need to feel better is to relate the problem out loud, get a big bear hug from him and move on. Other times I really do need his advice and am eager to hear his viewpoint.
This strategy works with friendships as well. We all want to be given an opportunity to be heard but, when the shoe is on the other foot, do we have a problem being a good listener or do we have a tendency to dominate the conversation? Are we guilty of interjecting a quick response, offering solutions rather than sympathy?
A more serious breech may involve a betrayal by a friend who we trusted with what we thought was a confidential conversation. A study in Psychology Today* found that betrayal is the most common reason for the death of a friendship. We must always remember that invariably people will let us down at some point but Christ never will, so our faith should be in Him and not in any man or woman. Nevertheless, we all crave a safe, sheltering friendship, a place where we can share our emotions without being judged, a place to cry it out, a place to join together in prayer, a friend with “skin on.” We desire a safe place to leave these things, entrusted to a sheltering friend who will not allow confidences to go any further, one who is trustworthy, to whom we can say anything and not worry that the information will be turned against us. Let us be known as sheltering friends who incline listening ears to hear, extend secure hands to hold, speak affirming words to lift up, and who offer faithful prayers to the Father.
Heavenly Father, we praise You that because of our faith in Christ You consider us Your friends. Thank You that You are the One who will listen, answer our prayers and will never betray us. Thank you that in Christ we have the perfect sheltering friend in the storms of life. To You we lift our praise. Amen.
* “The Friendship Bond,” October, 1979 p. 43
