Day 209: Hope and Fear

Romans 5: 1-5
“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

The façade of All Souls Church in London is quite distinctive with its tall, pointed steeple that rests on a round portico with steps leading to the imposing front doors. It was the home church of Rev. Dr. John Stott, a leading architect of 20th-century evangelicalism during his time there as rector and then Rector Emeritus until his death in 2011. As the cab driver turned the corner onto Regent Street, I recognized the building from a distance and was excited to worship there once again while visiting London.

Smiling faces and warm, welcoming handshakes greeted us as we entered and, arriving a bit early, we were able to secure two seats on the aisle, four rows back from the front. Soon the music began—a mix of traditional and contemporary—accompanied by organ, piano, strings and brass with voices of men and women, young and old lifted in beautiful harmony that practically raised the rafters in glorious song. The hope of Jesus is alive in this church in central London!

The hopeful mood in my heart quickly changed as a group of three Middle Eastern men came up the aisle and sat two rows ahead of us. Hopefulness turned to fearfulness in short order. I analyzed the situation to see if they had anything on their persons that would cause alarm. I watched to see if they sang the words, bowed their heads during prayer time, read from the Bible during the scripture reading; whether they gave any signals to each other through eye contact or notes. Watching the choir, the song leaders, the worship leader and the pastor who were all positioned up front, I tried to read their faces for any indication of alarm or concern on their part.

Checking for where the nearest exit would be I wondered whether I would be able to quickly grab my coat and purse.

Should I just feign illness and leave?

No. Instead, I prayed.

I asked the Lord to speak to my heart if there was good reason to have these uneasy feelings. Was it just unrealistic fear or a warning from the Holy Spirit? I prayed that God would calm my anxious heart and renew a right spirit within me; that He would remove the fear but keep me alert if need be; that He would turn my eyes towards Him.

To my relief, the service soon came to an end. As my husband helped me with my coat I noticed a gentlemen walk forward rather quickly and then sat down next to the three men, and shook their hands. They began talking in a pleasant and cordial manner, each one smiling as they conversed. All was well.

Instantly I was convicted by the Holy Spirit that I had allowed fear to enter into my hope for the morning and I was ashamed for allowing it to happen. What I wanted—needed—was a “do-over.”

In our verse for today, we are reminded of the hope that replaced fear with Jesus’ birth, death on the cross and resurrection. He meets our fears and calms them; He meets our hopes and fulfills them. Our hope is in Jesus, and we need no longer fear for our future and our lives for they are in His hands. In this time over the last few years when many hearts have been tossed back and forth between fear and hope, let us, dear readers, cling to that Hope. Let us not bow to fear that so easily binds us. Our future, and whatever it holds is, and always will be, in the Lord God’s sovereign hands.

My hope for a “do-over?” Well, it came the very next Sunday when we were able to attend All Souls Church once again.

Gracious Heavenly Father, we praise You for sending us Your Son to bring hope into this world that promises to replaces fear. We can rest in confidence that You are sovereign over every aspect of our lives: fear for our future, the increasing costs for necessities, the concern over a wayward child, elderly parents, an unexpected diagnosis, or “wars and rumors of wars.” Forgive us when we allow fear to overtake our emotions, causing us to take our eyes off of You. Fill us with renewed hope, Your hope, that never disappoints. In Your sovereign name we pray. Amen.