Matthew 6:34
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
It was this time last year when the pain started, a discomfort in the neck that was annoying at first. I figured it was due to too much time on the phone and decided to adjust my habits. Despite the changes, the pain increased and, with an overseas trip and the holidays looming, I began to get concerned. By the end of December, the pain had bloomed into a full-fledged, high on the pain scale, life-changer. A doctor’s appointment was scheduled for early January, followed by additional consultations, treatments, injections, and physical therapy, all of which provided little relief. The weeks turned into months, a journey not of my choosing but, in His sovereignty, God has allowed it.
Many of my family and friends, and readers know I am a task person, list maker, goal setter, scheduler, and pack as much into each day as I am able. My planner and calendar were mostly empty, except for doctor appointments. Even on Sundays, I had to take the day as it came to decide if I could make it to church. Ordinary daily tasks, such as personal hygiene and small kitchen tasks, were challenging and painful. I could no longer drive myself to appointments.
If I had known eleven months ago that I would still be dealing with pain, my heart might have been driven to despair. But my all-knowing God, in His wisdom, protected me from the knowing. He was going to allow me to go through a trying period, one day at a time. Did I ask “why” on occasion? In my weakest moments, yes. Did I continue to trust Him in my suffering? In my weakness, yes, because my immovable faith in Him left no room for doubt. Each night before bedtime, my tearful prayer was, “Thank you, Lord, for getting me through one more day,” and each morning as I rose, my plea to the Lord was, “Give me just what I need for one more day.” And each day, He was faithful.
I began to view His provision every day as “daily bread”—each tiny move, one small task, one goal. Just enough, was what I sought. He wasn’t asking me to carry any more than today’s strength; I would wait for tomorrow’s strength. And I would receive today’s grace that He portioned. I would wait for tomorrow’s grace.
During the challenging but reflective months, God prompted my heart to turn to praise and thanksgiving even on the worst of days. I began to thank Him through my pain, and to look for the tiny victories. I offered thanks for His provision, which included help where and when I have needed it—the unwavering support of my husband, who serves me with love and kindness, and the prayers of family and many friends. My gratitude and thanksgivings were recorded on paper, recalling His provision, grace, and hope.
And then one October day, my neighbor spoke with my husband about another treatment I should try—acupuncture. At that point, I felt I had nothing to lose. I am delighted to say it has helped enormously, and I believe, without a doubt, that God opened this door when all other doors were shut. Recovery has been slow but steady, much like the work God was doing in my heart. And, although the treatments have not been daily, the slow but steady recovery has been His “bread” nonetheless, a different daily bread.
The journey continues, but with renewed hope and joy, Rapha, Our Healer, is working to heal, mend, and restore my body. I will look back on this year with a heart overflowing with gratitude and thanksgiving for God’s daily portion of bread which fed me with His love, care, mercy, strength, and grace. Above all, He showed me more of Himself. Thank you, Jesus!
Heavenly Lord, Your boundless love overwhelms me when I look back at these last few months. Your love never fails. Your foundation is firm. You are trustworthy. You see and hear me. You hold me. You are able. And, most of all, You are faithful. May my praise and thanksgiving be a sweet offering of worship to You, my God. To Your glory. Amen
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