John 13:34-35
“A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”
For as long as I can remember, when I returned home from shopping my hubby would ask, “Did you bring me anything?” Sometimes I would laugh and say, “No,” but other times I was rather annoyed, thinking to myself, “Why does he always expect something, even when I just go for a quick trip for milk?” It wasn’t until we read the book, Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, that I understood my husband’s request. The book explains that we can discover another person’s love language by observing the way they express love to others, what they complain about most often, and what they request from their spouse most often. People tend to give love in the way that they like to receive love. My husband’s love language is “gifts” and so bringing him something was an expression of my love for him. Once I understood, I made a point of bringing him a little something I thought he would like and he expresses his love language by often surprising me in sweet ways.
When we moved to our present home ten years ago, it was a difficult move for me on many levels, emotionally and physically, leaving me in a bad way. After the long, torturous move and weeks after my husband had gone back to work, my dear friend, Andi, called one day to check on me and all I could do was cry because I was overwhelmed with all that still needed to be done. She said, “Marsha, what is your love language?” Through my tears, I responded, “Acts of service.” She was able to break through to the source of my distress, “Because no one has served you by helping, you don’t feel loved, do you?” No, I didn’t. I was feeling unloved, forsaken and downright depressed. She immediately booked a flight to spend a week serving me by tackling all twelve of the huge china packs in my dining room, unpacking, washing and putting everything away. Her act of service was the soothing balm of love I needed to start fresh in our new home.
Never underestimate the power of expressing love that goes straight to the emotional heart of your family members, friends and fellow Christians! God has uniquely wired us with a particular temperament and gifts that influence our relationships and service within the body of Christ. What are the five love languages?
• Gifts
• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch
God’s desire is that our love for one another would grow and deepen. But first, this will happen only if we are rooted more and more deeply in the love Christ has for us, by seeing the depth of Christ’s love for us revealed in his Word. 1 John 4:7-8 and 19 say, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love…We love because he first loved us.” The love that God has for us is the foundation of our becoming loving people.
The Lord knows that relationships are the most valuable asset that we have, but at times the most difficult to maintain. Dear readers, sustaining them will only happen if we are deeply rooted in Christ first, and then our expressions of love for others—the offering of gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch—will flourish.
Father in heaven, we praise You for giving us Jesus, Who loves us like no other. We pray that our love for Him will be firmly rooted and maintained through Your Word, and that we may love one another as You have loved us. With our unique “love language” and gifts, please guide us to use them in love for the benefit and service of others. We love because You first loved us. It’s in Your loving name we pray. Amen.
– painting by Sarah Cummings
